When Someone You Love Is Struggling
You’ve probably been carrying this for a long time. Here is clear, honest guidance on how to help, and how Shepard & Stone can walk with your family.
Your loved one’s addiction is not your fault. And you don’t have to fix it alone.
Families often blame themselves, or try to hold everything together on their own. Neither helps for long. The most loving thing you can do is help them reach real care, and take care of yourself while you do.
Helping, not enabling
The line between them isn’t always obvious. A simple test: does it move them toward help, or make it easier to keep using?
| Helping looks like | Enabling looks like |
|---|---|
| Saying “I love you, and I’m worried” | Pretending you haven’t noticed |
| Offering to make the first call together | Making excuses to their employer or family |
| Paying for treatment or a sober home | Giving cash that could be spent on using |
| Letting them face the natural consequences | Rescuing them from every consequence |
| Praying for them, and taking care of yourself | Carrying the whole weight alone |
How to talk to them about treatment
- Step 1
Pick a calm moment
Not during a crisis, not while they’re using. Choose a private time when you’re both sober and rested.
- Step 2
Speak from love, with facts
Describe what you’ve seen and how it affects you. “I” sentences land better than accusations.
- Step 3
Have a next step ready
Know who you’ll call. Offer to call us together, right then, so the moment doesn’t pass.
A “no” today isn’t the end of the story
Many people refuse help the first time, and sometimes the second. Keep loving them, keep your boundaries, and keep the door open. Call us and we’ll help you plan the next conversation.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
Questions families ask
If your question isn’t here, call or text us. We’ll tell you the truth, even when it’s “not yet.”
Can I call Shepard & Stone about my son, daughter or spouse?
Yes. Many of our calls come from family. We’ll listen, answer your questions and help you think through the next step.
My loved one isn’t a Christian. Is Shepard & Stone still right for them?
Possibly. You don’t have to be a Christian to come to Shepard & Stone. Faith is offered every day and never forced.
What if they need help before Shepard & Stone opens?
Call or text (833) 817-7094. We help families reach detox and residential care through trusted partners today.
Will we be part of their recovery?
Family involvement is planned as part of Shepard & Stone’s care, when it helps the resident and with their permission.
What if my loved one is in danger right now?
Call 911. For crisis support, call or text 988 any time.
Your story is not over
Leave your name and number and we’ll call you back. We’ll listen, check your coverage and help you find a safe next step today, through trusted partners while Shepard & Stone prepares its first home.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”